IA

original independent financial market forecasting since 1980 www.institutionaladvisors.com IA

Publication Schedule ~ Archive 1999-2002 ~ Archive 2003-2004 ~ Archive 2005-2006 ~ Archive 2007 ~ WHAT'S NEW 2008
Home | Credit Markets 2008 | Media | Humour | Contact | FREE TRIAL

April Fool 2006
  As originally published on www.321gold.com  
 

Gold-Possible Short Squeeze-
Bob Hoye Institutional Advisors
April 1, 2006

Over the past few days, gold has been outperforming silver. Ever alert to opportunity, our staff has been doing some deep research - sleuthing the corridors of power, so to speak.

While there may be some skepticism about auditing the gold in Fort Knox, there is a solid description of the depository itself. The following is from an impeccable source:

"Construction building material used included 16,000 cubic feet of granite, 4,200 cubic yards of concrete, 750 tons of reinforcing steel, and 670 tons of structural steel."

The problem that is only now beginning to leak out is that radon (Rn) gas (which is radioactive) in the Fort Knox basement has turned all the gold to lead.

Bob Hoye
Institutional Advisors
email: bobhoye@institutionaladvisors.com
website: www.institutionaladvisors.com

NOTE TO READER
321gold Inc

Reader's Response To:
Gold -Possible Short Squeeze-
Bob Hoye Institutional Advisors
April 5, 2006

This article generated some controversy. Most realized that it was an April Fool's joke, and on April 2nd Barb put in the telltale "April Fool" watermark.

The response was amazing and the comments ranged from anger to compliments. One even proposed an alternative theory. Some examples follow:

"Wow! It's also the first day of April, April fool is he who believes this!"

"Are you trying to be funny, or can gold really turn into lead by radon gas? You don't elaborate, and have no subject on this article. A poor essay."

"Impossible to be true, Fort Knox has no gold in the first place."

"As I noted in my message to Robert Moriarty, the proprietor of the 321Gold web site, your theory is flawed and thus worthless. I and a select group of insiders have known for years that the gold foil in Fort Knox is filled with chocolate. Our elite cartel has been quietly accumulating chocolate-filled gold coins and bullion shells for decades -- chocolate-filled Krugerands, kilobars, Ducats... you name it, we have it, in abundance. "

"You must think people are idiots to believe radon gas can turn gold to lead. Get real and stop posting foolish items."

"Bob, love it. You've got the guts - way to go."

"Also there is the effect of the Vernal Equinox which causes the radon gas to convert the gold to lead even faster. This is usually at its height on April 1. (A very funny article.)"

"Get a grip!!! Radon does not turn gold to lead. Before you lose all credibility, say something to cover this idiotic editorial. And fire the fool who came up with this idea." [Bob Hoye has just fired himself and has joined the ranks of the self-unemployed.]

"I am with the US Federal government. I am here to help you. There is only hot air at Ft. Knox and not radon gas. There might be some fools gold at Ft. Knox, but you will never know how much. If you need further assistance in this matter I can help you with your delusions. - A loyal fan"

"Bob - good stuff - I can see everyone getting their gold checked for radiation - maybe I should offer the service myself - give a certificate following extensive testing that would use up about 5% of the gold submitted."

Thanks for all the response, but perhaps the biggest and most bitter joke of all has been the efforts to go the other way and turn lead into gold.

Originally called alchymy, since the nonsense promoted by the charismatic economist, John Maynard Keynes, it has been called interventionist economics.

In the late 1500s, the biggest bank in modern history, "The Fugger Bank", pointed out that it was mainly government that was gullible enough to fund alchymysts.

THE FUGGER NEWS-LETTERS
The Famous Alchemist Bragadini
From Venice, the 1st day of November, 1589

"He is forty years old and was formerly possessed of no mean fortune, but spent it in riotous living. Then for a time he was mint-master to the Grand Duke Francis. From thence he came to the late Pope Gregory, who held him in great esteem. He thus obtained several thousand ducats. But when these too had been spent, he became a Capuchin [monk] and had taken his second vows. But since he could not subject himself to the strict rule of the order, he absconded without dispensation (hence the excommunication ban by the Holy Office) and betook himself to France. There he served several princes incognito. Latterly he has returned again to Bergamo in Italy and has exhibited his art in Valcamonica and in a short time increased his fortune to over and above two hundred thousand crowns. He has expounded his craft to several persons and it had got so far that he was prevailed upon to come here of his free will. Such a host of princes and lords beleaguered him that he was scarcely safe, although he had a bodyguard of fifty archers. This man is now here in this city, holds banquet daily for five hundred people and lives in princely style in the Palazzo Dandolo on the Giudecca. He literally throws gold about in shovelfuls. This is his recipe: he takes ten ounces of quicksilver, puts it into the fire and mixes it with a drop of liquid, which he carries in an ampulla. Thus it promptly turns into good gold. He has no other wish but to be of good use to his country, the Republic."

From the Dictionary of Science (Hammond.Barhart):

Gold: A shiny, bright-yellow, ductile and malleable precious metallic element which resists alteration.
Radon: A gaseous, inert radioactive element, formed by the radioactive decay of radium.
Mass number (of the most stable isotope) 222; half-life 3.8 days.

The half-life of an April Fools joke is a half-day.

Bob Hoye
Institutional Advisors
email bobhoye@institutionaladvisors.com
website: www.institutionaladvisors.com

NOTE TO READER
321gold Inc

 
     
 

Bob Hoye
Editor & Chief Investment Strategist
www.InstitutionalAdvisors.com

 
 
   

Home | Credit Markets 2008 | Media | Humour | Contact | FREE TRIAL
Publication Schedule ~ Archive 1999-2002 ~ Archive 2003-2004 ~ Archive 2005-2006 ~ Archive 2007 ~ WHAT'S NEW 2008

 

Need a definition? Try the Duke University Financial Glossary
Need  to open up PDF files on this site? Get Adobe's Free PDF Reader 4

DISCLAIMER NOTE TO READER EO&E & Copyright©2008
www.institutionaladvisors.com original independent financial market forecasting since 1980

www.235.ca

WEB MANAGER Brian Ripley Vancouver BC Low Cost Canadian Web Hosting and Web Design since 2000 www.235.ca

PAGE TOP

WEB MANAGER www.235.ca

This website will display as built using IE browser version 6+ with "View Text Size" at medium
and monitor resolution at 800 x 600 pixels. Refresh browser; page updated March 10, 2008

PAGE TOP